On my mind

Hi everyone! Long time no see! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year’s! Etc, etc!  It’s been a relaxed time away from responsibilities and musts. But this is about to change! In just a couple of days, Jarryd and I are moving to our new apartment. We have been spending a lot of time planning the move and trying to figure out how we actually want to live. What are we bringing to the new place? What are we donating? What do we need to buy? Leaving a share house and getting our OWN home has made me think more about how I want my life to be and what I want. Let me show you what’s been occupying my mind lately!
One of the hardest things about moving from a house to an apartment is storage. We have also been quite unlucky and the only storage we have in the apartment is a small walk in closet. There’s no way we can fit everything in there, so my plan is to buy a cabinet where we can keep bed linen, pillows, towels, etc. I would definitely not mind a vintage cabinet with a lot of character and space. I found the Swedish Rocco Cabinet from the 18th-19th century  and I love it. Unfortunately, I don’t have any spare $13,000 in my bank account, so this one is a no for me. I do however hope I can find an Australian (and cheaper) version of this one.
This is how I want to dress from now on! Airy, quality vintage clothes and a large straw hat to protect my face from the aggressive Australian sunlight. Even if this outfit looks a bit too warm for summer, it would be perfect for a cool, breezy winter day somewhere in the Sunshine Coast. The photo was taken by Max von Treu for the July issue of MADAME magazine.
One of the most exciting parts about moving to the apartment is that I’ll finally be able to have my own place for painting. I’m quite shy painting and writing in the absence of others. Also, there has always been a lack of light in the house which has made it difficult to paint. I’m really excited to finally bring out my painting equipment again. I saw this menu card designed by either Vanessa Bell or Duncan Grant (photo borrowed from Tate) and that idea has been stuck with me since then. I want to paint my own menus for a dinner party! 
Speaking of dinner party, how beautiful isn’t this dinner party setting from the blog Lovely Life? I have unfortunately never had the chance to visit Gotland, but the mix of limestone, rustic wood and wild flowers is truly wonderful. You use what you have outside your doorstep, and it’s this simplicity I’m really fond of. 
Ahhh, ceramics! I wouldn’t mind having a collection like this one. A few, locally produced ceramics. Until I can afford this, I’ll continue buying second hand glass and porcelain.
My old, second hand Acne jeans are soon about to give up since I’ve been using them too much at work and in the garden. When we are doing laps to Salvos, Vinnies and Red Cross, I’ll sneakily  look for a pair like these

I’m in need of a good size cutting board. This one is from H&M, but I don’t mind getting a second hand one. 
2019 ended and 2020 began with the catastrophic fires here in Australia. Many people and animals have lost their lives, and homes and businesses have been destroyed. Fires are a natural part of Australia, but this time, nature’s powers are too great for us to handle. Australia is my second home and it breaks my heart to watch it burn. 
I’m disappointed in the Australian Government. I’m disappointed in the people shutting their eyes to climate change. I’m extremely disappointed that Australia is ranked as the sixth-worst of 57 countries looking at national climate action across greenhouse gas emissions, renewable energy, energy use and policy. Australia should be better than this and what we need are politicians who aren’t just focusing on short-term economical goals which will benefit their careers. As individuals and consumers, we have a great responsibility too. Change is irritating and inconvenient, but necessary.
2020 has had a really rough start, but let’s try making this world a better place for us and all living things. 
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Friday again

Today is the last Friday of September. My nose and eyes are already feeling the allergy itchiness, which means it is once again time to bring out the eye drops, nose spray and the non-drowsy antihistamine. Otherwise, nothing super exciting has happened this week. I have been doing my daily job searching, had one interview and did one day of work at the university. I know next week is going to look exactly the same.
For a while I thought the key ingredient for my negative thoughts was being home and alone for a long period of time. Now, I am starting to realise that the issue may not be the fact that I am spending a lot of time by myself and at home. Maybe, I am just feeling a lack of purpose in this world and failure of achieving self fulfillment? And would this magically be solved by getting a full-time employment? Depends on the job, of course, but probably not. The luxury of only working one day a week and having complete power of my schedule means I suddenly have a lot of free time. I understand my mood is more negatively affected by not knowing how to spend this time and not being able to set goals for myself. Who am I really?
This makes me think about what Benjamin Franklin said. “When you’ve finished changing, you’re finished’. I believe after moving to Australia and completely reconstructing my world, I never really had the chance to stop for a minute and analyse how I felt about life and myself. Now, when there is no lack of time or a job title to hide behind, I have really had the opportunity to scan myself, my emotions and my desires. But nothing is supposed to be easy, right? I am still trying to figure out who I am today and what I want to achieve. It is a long and quite difficult process, just like life itself . 
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First days of September

September. The beginning of Autumn. And like always here in Australia, I feel foolishly pranked by the seasons.  I am waiting for the crispy chills in the mornings and for the mushrooms to grow in the forests. I am waiting for the leaves to turn yellow on the spidery branches, getting weaker for each day until the turbulent wind rips them off the only home they know and leaving them on the ground to moulder away. I am waiting for a growing darkness that will sneakily steal my D-vitamin until the day when the sun decides to return back to the northern parts of the globe. I am waiting for school or work to start again after a long, relaxed break of longed-for summer. 

But here in Brisbane, my new home, everything is the exact opposite. More insects are crawling around and butterflies are flying around like drunk teenagers on LIME scooters looking for mates. The warm long black has now been swapped for a glass of ice latte with ice cold milk. The possums are more noisy than usual and happily run extra laps on the metal roof during the earliest morning hours. Every evening, I remove one blanket or one piece of clothing to avoid sweating on my newly bought summer bed sheets.

It is not much, but I have learnt to distinguish the small contrasts between the season that was, and the season that we are currently in. Here, September is spring. It will never be the same September I am used to and grew up with. It is, however, without a doubt also a new start. A beginning. And I believe this is why I have been longing so much for September. I need a start of something new, even though I am not completely sure what it would be. Maybe new work responsibilities? A new place to rent? A new hobby? A new phone? A new roadtrip to plan? A new plant (if you are reading this Jarryd, I am joking. A little bit. Maybe we can talk about this when you come home from work?). 

Even though this post contains much more questions than answers, the first days of spring have been good and I feel content. How does September usually make you feel? Is there a season or a month that usually means a new beginning to you?

Welcome September, I am happy you are back and I am ready for you!
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